How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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