So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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