How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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