I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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