my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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