I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I need to calm my uterus...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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