dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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