Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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