I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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