youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize