I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
