dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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