omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Of course I have a pirate flag
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize