His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
