no, he came in my armpit
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize