I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize
