Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
