You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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