in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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