yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
