My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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