so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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