sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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