No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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