Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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