hotel room ftw
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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