I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
