I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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