yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
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I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
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Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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