Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
foreskin is a definite game changer
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
