we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
