DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
