is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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