where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
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I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
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the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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