do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize