shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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