i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
