There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
