i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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