Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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