can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
