Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
