Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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