I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
