I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i think i just lost a toe
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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