Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
