More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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