That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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