i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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