Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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