So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i drank out of a bidet.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Randomize