Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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