She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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