I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
