Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
