D3 body, D1 cock
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
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Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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