I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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